colt 45 and two zigzags [entries|friends|calendar] nobody. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[23 Feb 2006|09:53pm] Its been a crazy week. To crazy. I almost dont wanna go out this weekend. Although, I know I will. *get high*

transition to 06 [07 Jan 2006|03:06pm] [ mood | depressed ] So 05 ended really great, which i thought meant 06 was going to be an awesome year. The first week started of great, and ended in the biggest fucking disaster. Im sort of just in shock. I dont know what to think or what to say, except i miss him. And knowing that hes gone possibly for forever makes me want to cry. Knowing i ruined a friendship makes me want to cry. Walking through his room, looking at his stuff that remains makes me want to cry. Every possible little thing that reminds me of him makes me want to cry. Thinking of him leaving, not having a place to go, and crying makes me want to cry. Thinking of all the stuff he has said makes me want to cry. writting this makes me want to cry. It was all fun, and awesome, but all good things must come to an end i guess. I just wish it didnt have to end this way. I just hope and pray he is okay. i wish i had a chance to say im sorry, the tears arent worth it, and it will all be okay. This is just another life lesson. *3 took ahit*//*get high*

[15 Dec 2005|04:37pm] SSSOOO ive been having tons of fun. Ron has lived with us for a week now, and its been kool. Chrismas break is gonna be the sssshiiiznit haha. Im excited. happy holidays!!! haha *1 took ahit*//*get high*

[27 Nov 2005|08:32pm] iam sooo fed up with school and online classes, that im about to say fuck it, and stay for another half a year in high school instead of graduating this year. i hate it i hate i fucking hate it, i have essays, tests, projects and then to top it of i go to school for another 3 classes and deal with the bullshit. After doing all that i get up and go to work. thank GOD they cut my hours, cuz 40 hours a week was NOT my thing while having all this other bullshit. annnnyways..i have like 50 antbites, a bruised knee and scratches on my feet from last night..at least i didnt fall in the fire haha. it was 5 days of straight drinking and partying..and now i have school again tommorow, and really...5 days was NOT enough..i need like 30. mannnnn FUCK school. and the government man. *get high*

my life [13 Nov 2005|09:22pm] THIS has been my life for about the past two months... its kinda long woooww thats alot...and theres so many more too, but i thought those sum it up. *5 took ahit*//*get high*

[03 Oct 2005|08:48pm] SO ive been so unbelievably giddy the past few days, the person i have missed the most, is back in my life. weve decided hes my bestfriend. The best part is i get to see him soon. hes my support.. ImNotJohnMayer05: at least you know you always have someone that will back you up no matter what, even if he is 8 states away... lol He means alot to me. :) *3 took ahit*//*get high*

[03 Sep 2005|02:05pm] So last night was definatly fun, chilled with a variety of people, kool people that is. Bryants house was fun, playing pool was fun,drunken walmart trip wit mike, coop, and cmoney was fun, bryants bathroom trip was fun, steaknshake was fun, gettin kick out of walmart was interesting, trying everything on was interesting. Brads house was alright(the things i do for erin man, i must say im a pretty nice friend), and my mom calling me at 7 in the morning asking me where i am...not so fun, but she wasnt mad so its all good. I met tons of kool people, all this when shawn was throwing up in the bathroom, Dont drink to much to early kids! <--and that is your labor day weekend lesson. have fun everyone. *1 took ahit*//*get high*

[29 Aug 2005|08:58pm] So i really hate making people feel bad, but guys sometimes are like ..GOD idk, they take shit really personally over nothing...and well just like me to much, jeez im not great, STOP! i love that you care, trust me i really do, all three of you, but i can be a bitch if you dont give me my space. im really nice, but when that doesnt work you have to be blunt cuz they just DONT fucking get it. so im sorry im straight forward, but you dont get it otherwise. im sorry, but sometimes i get annoyed to. DAMN on a lighter note... im really hoping to get this job offer in the bahamas for six days, im prayin my age doesnt get in the way of it, hopefully they will pay all the expenses for two. im not getting my hopes up though, but i could REALLY use the money, and nice trip. *3 took ahit*//*get high*

[08 Aug 2005|08:08pm] greengrass7776: u kneed me i the nose then blood went every were HAusuckHAHA: mhmmm greengrass7776: u were a bitch greengrass7776: ha HAusuckHAHA: haha yea i was wow...8th grade man, those were the days i saw adam and cia tonight, it was nice. ive been working too much. *2 took ahit*//*get high*

[07 Aug 2005|09:33pm] [ mood | content ] SO this weekend reminded me of the old me, and old times. Ron came down. I had fun i guess. I didnt do that much though since i was working all weekend too. Things are currently going well i guess, just living day to day doing the same shit, being back at school sucks. Getting out 1 period early is definatly fucking better than staying all day though, school goes by quick. Im realllyyy glad this is gonna be my last year. I wanna get out soon as possible, and do my own things, i have so many plans...and being 18 finally is gonna be different too. i just cant wait after this school year, this year although should be interesting too. soooo im aokay at the moment. :) *get high*

[15 Jul 2005|10:07pm] its my birfday..... *5 took ahit*//*get high*

[05 Jul 2005|08:42pm] Ive been going out a little bit more, but im still keeping my ground. Busy with upcomming auditions and shit...cant blow it, gotta work more instead of go out more. Hopefully ill make it to these ones though cuz i couldnt show up to my last one...my eye swelled up the night before, and yea..it fucking sucked not being able to go. Oh well though..this shit is gonna take some serious time, and effort and its definatly harder than i though to stand there while all eyes are on you. i HATE having to worry about the way i look. i HATE getting criticised all the time. i hate alot of things, but i guess its all part of it and i gotta accept the bad with the good. Going to miami next thursday, hopefully ill only be there one day cuz my birthday is friday. July 4th was fun though, so was today even though i didnt even go anywhere today. okay so i cant keep it in anymore...i gotta tell somebody or something man. HES SO FUCKING CUTE!(i had to scream that cuz he is incredibly cute which is always a plus)hes kool too...AND funny. i cant help it no more, as much as i didnt want to get to invovled with somebody...fuck it, we'll see what happens. As of yesterday were sorta talking, talking on the phone, at work, texts..and i love how he makes me smile, i feel bad at the same time though too cuz i was sorta talking to someone else..but i realized he doesnt really compare to him as bad as it sounds. The way he treats me is muuchh better. Im trying to keep my distance though cuz i dont know if i have time for a boyfriend. but DAMN hes cute! lol i havent met anyone like him in a llloonngg time i had to get that out... oh yea, and im realy confused about school...i dont know what to do... im thinking go one last quarter?...im not sure about alot of stuff right now....shit, who knows. *12 took ahit*//*get high*

[23 Jun 2005|11:08pm] I wasnt planning on updating, but then I though maybe I should since my whole life has completely changed since the last time I was on here, plus im really proud of myself and this is the only way i can really express it I guess. So to start of, im proud of myself. Proud of the decisions i have made in the past week, proud of the things I have done, and the stuff im starting to acomplish by taking baby steps at a time. Alot of my friends I had I guess think im grounded, in trouble, and miserable which I thought I should also clear up. Im not "grounded" or in trouble I had just made a promise to myself, and in order to keep that promise and make my goals and dreams a reality, i unfortunetly had to drop all my friends(except one), and I didnt know how to put it to most of them, so anyone who called was told im not aloud to talk. And that I think was the hardest thing to do. My life was friends, and going out, and well..some drugs, so going from that to no friends, no going out, and absoloutly no drugs was tough, but it had to be done. I didnt think i had all this self control that ive had and showed the past week, i even surprised myself. I promised myself no more of going out or anything until I have money in my pocket and I can travel, party, and do all these things for recreational purposes not for an everyday thing. I cant wait for that by the way..cuz im gonna party my ASS OFF. For right now though im gonna work hard, and I know in the end all my hard work will pay off greatly. Also, im most likely not going to be returning to school, if i am it will only be for about one quarter or a semester at THE MOST. But most likely iam not going to be at Riverview this upcomming year, i have already made this decision with my parents, the only thing thats left is the paperwork. Im gonna be traveling and working and being homeschooled. My first job is on the 19th and i absoloutly cannot wait to start building my resume, at that time im also going to be at a few interviews, open calls,alot of auditions, and keeping my fingers crossed for a contract, but of course im not getting my hopes up, just keeping a positive attitude. I know eventually with hard work it will happen. The past week i have been working out alot, drinking alot of water, and eating much healthier, and just basically getting my body in shape, and i finally saw some changes today, and to me that was just amazing and gave me more drive because I worked hard at something and results showed. My body looks more toned, my face has completely cleared up, my skin feels actually healthy..and thats only after one week so i cant image what it will be like after a month. I have in my head what i want now,all my efforts, my time my all is going into this, this is what im gonna be eating, and sleeping. This is my new life, and im oh so happy I cleared my head and realized what I need to be doing, even though it should of been done a long time ago. Im gonna end it there, so goodbye for a little while. PEACE BITCHES, IM OUT TO GET RICH. *1 took ahit*//*get high*

[06 Jun 2005|11:36am] i havent been on this thing in forever...everything is great BUT i hate goodbyes...and i hate not acomplishing anything... ive been working alot too..yea work sucks at least i finally got some sleep last night.... i miss him. *2 took ahit*//*get high*

PLEASE HELP [13 May 2005|04:25pm] ok so i need to make about 150$ this week somehow. I NEED HELP FROM ANYONE AND EVERYONE! IF YOU KNOW OF ANY MONEY I CAN MAKE, CALL ME 3856445! IM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY AS WRONG AS THAT SOUNDS. *6 took ahit*//*get high*

[10 May 2005|08:25pm] so i saw tears in my moms eyes tonight as we were talking...seeing her like that and her speaking to me like im a normal person was a whole new feeling in itself. i dont even have words for everything thats going through my mind right now... ive been slacking so now ITS ON like donkey kong BIATCH..time to make some real fuckin money..the only hard part though, is getting started. yea my car process has been delayed like two weeks due to my money situation. i love my mommy and daddy :) , and im so thankful for everything i have and may have in the future. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU There is a God..or something up there, or down there, or whereever he/she/it might be. *get high*

[08 May 2005|12:04pm] I feel sooo fucking bad. Yesterday was my mom's birthday..i forgot. I kept telling myself i gotta at least remember mothers day and do something for her...but shit happens..my stupid ass forgot..and i think i might of hurt her. I do the stupidest shit sometimes. I know. And to make all matters worse this isnt the first year. Well, im not gonna expect to get anything on my birthday. IDK actually..i guess there is two sides to everything, i dont like that. fuck gotta go nooo i work all day again *2 took ahit*//*get high*

[02 May 2005|04:21pm] I KNOW WHAT CAR IM GETTING!!!I KNOW WHAT CAR IM GETTING!!! :):):):) I NEED ADVICE!what color should i get it in????im thinkin maybe black? *6 took ahit*//*get high*

[02 May 2005|03:23pm] SO...right now i dont think life can get any better..i love it. im gonna be bankin it working as a server..im gonna try to get mad tips and flirt with all the ugly boys that come in..haha, and i get my car back REAL soon..like as soon as i have anough insurance for the first month which should be after this week cuz im workin 30 hours , AND i have a somebody somebody and things are going great :)...hes getting all his shit straight and might even get an apartment. ALSO shawn has a job and is probably NOT going away for the summer, SO FUCK YEA cuz i was gonna miss him tooo much if he left. im gonna save up for a system in my car, and my birthday is real soon!:):) I LOVE MONEY! *4 took ahit*//*get high*

[25 Apr 2005|05:30pm] ( Just cuz I was really bored bymyself ) *11 took ahit*//*get high*

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